Rebecca Stephanie Ventura WilderMy Fellow Villamorians,

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Rebecca Stephanie Ventura Wilder'65

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Editorial Commentaries:

The most important wisdom I can share is that integrity and credibility are very important not only in an individual's life but also in an organization. If we're going to influence children I'd rather that they be taught how to be an honorable person. It is easy to learn trades but it is difficult to teach character education.

Communication: The most important part in a relationship, organization, community or leadership is communication. Once communication is broken down, no one will be able to find out the truth, thresh out disagreements and misunderstanding will press on.

Things to be cautious about when reading an email or a letter:
  • Do not internalize (take issues personally) issues as though they are personal attacks.
  • Do not be emotional.
  • Do not second guess the intent or purpose of the communication beyond what is stated in the letter or email.
  • Read statement of facts, intentions or purpose of the communication as is, do not put words that are not there.
  • "Do not kill the messenger."
  • Be thankful that the message is brought out in the open, so each and every person can verify issues being discussed behind their backs and issues can be verified and the truth will come out; "The Truth Shall Set You Free." 
  • Be direct in your communication, don't use flowery words or go around the bush.
  • Questions about certain issues like money are legitimate and verifiable; no one should jump into conclusion that they are being personally attack.
  • Do not use derogatory remarks or profanity or put downs in any communication.
Quote from Winston Churchill:
"Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong only because he has remained silent."

"All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke

Silence is not a virtue in a world where atrocities toward men are being committed and where understanding is needed. Jesus continued to preach, Buddha's discourses and monastic rules were passed down orally, all teachings were orally spoken before they were written down. Silence is needed only when you are meditating, reflecting, praying and listening.

Before passing on judgment to anyone or making decisions on who or what you're agreeing on or voting for; communicate, ask questions, ask for definitions, clarify your doubts directly to the person concerned, don't beat around the bush, be direct, stand up to be heard.

Communicate and express concerns to the right people that can take action on issues and can clarify or remove all false allegations or negative accusations hurled at the back of people.

Before making judgments know the facts/truth. Innuendos and opinions are not facts, you can present facts in an opinion.

Facts don't change, (but it can be twisted by unscrupulous people) opinions do change and innuendos do not accomplish anything. Be direct in your communication and outline the issues/concerns.

Unresolved issues continue because of lack of communication and understanding. Answering accusations, fact finding, verifying, clarifying false statements and soliciting advice do not constitute gossiping. These are ways of communicating for fact finding or seeking the truth, always face the accuser.

Gossiping is when people talk or speculate when they don't know the truth and make judgments on people without knowing facts. To end speculations, learn the truth from people who are directly concerned. Resolve conflicts by confronting the issues to the person. Good people recommend solutions and do not add false information to fire the conflict. Always face the accuser to bring out the truth and for good to overcome evil.

False Assumption: Communicate and express concerns to the right people that can take action on issues and can clarify or remove all false allegations or negative accusations hurled at the back of people. Always face the accuser; stand up for truth and justice.

School Donations: In the past some classes or individuals were complaining why only a few batches were recognized by the school when they also have donated in the past. If your donations or names aren't on the donation's list of appreciation, your money or your donation in kind must have been recognized under the name of the organization that coordinated the project. Also if you don't let people know what you have donated in the past then obviously no one would know.

School Recognition: Some people want recognition even if they did not have anything to do with the project and this is not fair to the people who worked or contributed money for the project. Some people will go out of their way to be recognized and will concoct stories to do so whether it is true or not. We need to keep our integrity and credibility in this world intact because without them, we cannot be trusted and if no one can trust us, we are nothing.

As I have stated above the most important wisdom I can share is that integrity and credibility are very important not only in an individual's life but also in an organization. If we're going to influence children I'd rather that they be taught how to be an honorable person. It is easy to learn trades but it is difficult to teach character education.

Strong character
: Having a strong character differs from being stubborn or being a strong person. Some people are confused between the two. A strong character means having wisdom, intelligence and strength to stand for truth and justice even if it means being against a majority of people. Standing up for justice, truth, credibility, integrity and being honorable are part of having a strong character. Stand up and be heard!

"Character
is a set of qualities, or values, that shape our thoughts, actions, reactions and feelings. People with strong character:
  • show compassion,
  • are honest and fair,
  • display self-discipline in setting and meeting goals,
  • make good judgments,
  • show respect to others,
  • show courage in standing up for beliefs,
  • have a strong sense of responsibility,
  • are good citizens who are concerned for their community, and
  • maintain self-respect."
Source from: Ed.gov